Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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