i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
