there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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