You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
