im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
