But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
