she looked like the bat from fern gully.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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