i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
