you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize