I'm going to jail i love you
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
