Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
