i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
