we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
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We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night