going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
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I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
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I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.