So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
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I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
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Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there