I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.