# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I still have a little drunk in my system
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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