If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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