we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
