If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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