some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
