I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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