dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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