Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
