now i know why i became what i already was.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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