all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
