just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Randomize
