nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
