I cockslap morals
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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