So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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