You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
