Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
