I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
