its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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