Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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