It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
