thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
