i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
