meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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