That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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