Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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