They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
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I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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