He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
where are my eyebrows?
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