Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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