I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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