i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
