my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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