Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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