this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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