i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
PANTIES FOUND
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