Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
