Your tits are I can't wait for
so let's talk penis.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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