Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
