You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
