I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
