So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
