with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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